There are people in this world who say very little but seem to understand much more than we realize, and they do not feel the need to draw attention to themselves or announce their presence.
I had a colleague who used to arrive at work without drawing attention to himself, complete assignments with care, listen more than he spoke, and work with the team without seeking recognition. If we noticed him working nearby and apologized for carrying on the conversation, he would smile and say in the gentlest of tones, “No worries. I’m a bystander.”
We knew it was modesty. He did not try to take over a conversation that belonged to others, and seemed content to watch and listen.
He would see our wins and our failures, smile at our overconfidence, be amused as he watched us struggle with problems that needed wisdom, and we would find ourselves thinking twice, knowing he was always ready to help.
Perhaps the world is fuller of observers than we know, and silence can be misunderstood. We can be inclined towards the voices that fill a room and notice less those who leave space for others. There is nothing wrong with speaking, just as there is nothing wrong with listening. It is easy to place trust in those who speak with confidence than in those who observe in silence.
The bystander, watched with purpose. He noticed what we missed and by the time he spoke he had understood the problem.
The next time you meet someone who says very little, ask yourself, “What might they be learning in silence?
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